I almost committed suicide.

Updated: Apr 8

There is no death with no disease. Wow! I just made it up... But why to score your death if it is coming anyway?

There are few things as a freelancer we tend to practice for the death of our own career and there are ways to avoid it. There is something we have to deal with no prior experience is to deal with new people and understand human behavior and gauge the best possible among the many. Every day I get calls from an average of 5 people looking for my services and there are days when none of them turns into anything potential client and it is totally fine. What is not fine is to lose a potential opportunity. Very recently the Indian economy was effected post its overnight decision of demonetization in 2017 and it took a year for many freelancers including myself to recover. As I looked back I saw a few things I took as a final call for my better tomorrow and I am here to share the secret with you.


Creating art may not seem very relatable to you with being commercial but they both are intertwined except the kind of attitude you carry. Either you change yourself or hire, it is totally up to you.


When I looked back into the years when I just started my career being a freelancer in 2014, I was approached by people looking for talent at a cheap price, well I cribbed for the lack of budget clients carry but self-authentication to be a professional worth the bucks was not well signed by many and then I took up the job at the price they offered me, I still thank myself I did coz every experience matter and you tend to start somewhere in your career. The big bang theory exists but it's not all in one indeed it is an amalgamation of many. I ended up with a beautiful portfolio carrying various portraits and products which lead me to get my very first international client The Morningstar based out of Chicago, USA.

It is not important to earn the highest in every project, gaining credibility is indeed a currency one needs to earn and invest in itself for better opportunities tomorrow

The biggest problem is to understand and dissolve it in our mind is everything comes gradually, I have been rejected by many talent agencies for not fitting into the bill they are looking for and many agreed to make me a part for a sum I am still not able to afford it.

I do say No! to too many of my clients for the amount they offer against various factors of lack of enough to feed my assistant's effort to the inability to hire the equipment I require and more. I have negotiated enough to gauge the best they have to shed for the project. I have come to terms finally where I have made a style of myself the way I wish to work for better outcomes cause now I have things at stake.

Nature is the best example to relate to if and when we seek answers to all the worries and queries and doubts we have in and out. Evolution as a word is going to stick to you for the rest of your life and I have evolved enough to come to terms with the way I wish to work. It is been 6 years where I have done everything possible at my best to understand the circumstances I work the best and I work from my heart to give the best I can and I have committed to my clients. They come to me post seeing what I have done so far and where I have been me at the optimum as a photographer and professional artist.

I have a crew which helps me to work at ease, I have a production assistant which figures the things which I am not supposed to and I have a co-mate which brings the best out of my images, my stakes are high, my work experience has expanded, I believe in customer experience and indeed the productivity one is approaching me for. If one can't bear the minimum of what I need I can't take the risk to give an outcome I can't commit to.

I highly encourage everyone to take a risk and do things that are beyound your comfort zone and I myself practice it in every way possible. I have shot 1000s of images in a day to just 10 in a day and it took a while to understand what I do best and how I do best in what circumstances.

For anyone having a work style and aesthetic style is two different aspects relatable to each other and it takes years of being under pressure to be a diamond to define your worth.

Once you know and feel you have taken enough, step up and stick to your working style.



As an artist, we have a mind with thousands of things wandering around in and out and we either go speechless, talk endlessly or talk our heart out and as a professional, we need to train ourselves. Train not to stop wondering but to calculate the way we let other people know what we think and how we think and what we have to offer. Early in my career, I tended to crib a lot and talk endlessly and I still do in and over meetings with clients and people in general and I regret the big time when I self realize, over the years I have been open to criticism and words people around me looking out for best for me, have told me to follow and It has helped me a lot eventually but the child within does error from time to time and I have stopped taking control over it.

Stop talking before they stop listening to you

is a mantra I came across a book (The art of creative thinking) and I found it very amusing. I have been invited to many local and national conferences and they invited me to talk and talk the heart out, well I have had to brief it up as much as possible due to the same mantra above. When it comes to the meeting I tend to practice listening more and talk the least and it has worked the best for me. Listening holds more capacity to engage with our audience than talking to them and many called it a scientific way of human dominance in a way they tend to depend on you.

The very exchange of words turning into a potential transaction is a study every freelancer needs to do and evolve accordingly.


The death of a freelancer comes with the haste, jealousy, anxious mind and ever over the top self affiliation attitude. As a freelancer one needs to lead itself along the lines of evolution everyone goes through and has gone through and will go through. The attitude of settling down too soon in your career makes you stagnant. Fear of working out of the comfort zone doesn't bring anything new out of you. The hunger doesn't need a la carte to raise the symphony rather simplicity has given birth to many la carte.

I have seen many photographers going off the track due to the lack of passion and vision and exposure of what good work is.

The eye, the ear, the nose, the tongue every sense needs to get trained and needs to get fooled more than getting the right answers. Aspiration and inspiration are at the tip of your hand, how you practice are what makes you who you are.


I hold and no hold any guarantee for a miracle to happen in your life and yet the insurance is in your efforts and attitude you behold. We and I can learn from what others have for us to give away.

Hii, I am Shovona, a freelance commercial photographer who resides in the economic hub of India, Mumbai. As an artist, freelancer and a businesswoman, money, and creativity always intrigue me and I am passionate enough to share my knowledge with others too.

Feel free to contact me for any portrait, corporate, food, product photography related queries or just drop a hi! at

shovonakar@gmail.com


#coronaindia #mumbaiphotographer #femalephotographer #portraitphotographer #commercialphotographer #freelancecommercialphotographer




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