I got diagnosed with depression in 2016 but I started feeling so since 2015 and it took me a year to approach a doctor. It is been 4 years now and I find myself more active and alive hence restarted writing to share a part of me with you all.
Coming out for self is itself is a war where you worry a lot about people around you and depression has been tagged as a phase in life by many including your own and it is indeed sad and it makes life more difficult to be normal as for various social terms. I being an art history student thought to refresh my memory with them and realized many masterpieces were during the extreme lows of one's life. I don't claim depression to be my secret to the work I do and how I gain the trust of my client and run my living but there is something peculiar about mental health and creativity or letting one's subconscious mind take over.
Depression is the agility to do anything, the inability to find happiness, it is a real issue and I will never suggest anyone go through it in-case creativity is your solace. Creativity is not subjected to visual like photography, illustration or anything physical like painting and sculpture and more, but it can be anything. Calculating the most complex mathematical equation is also an art. I personally feel the ability to un-complexify a situation is a creativity. If you are not easily emotionally triggered try watching A Beautiful Mind.
I have not personally found depression adding anything extraordinary to my creative process what got me to do things which was liked by many was the focus. A focused mind can do wonders and can help you discover yourself, and focus comes with practice and a room or space where nothing much there to get yourself distracted.
If I look into two of my fav visual artists Frieda Khalo and Vicent Van Gogh, both are from two different eras and with very different artistic approach but they both suffered with extreme physical and psychological traumas. If I think suffering from something will make me create masterpieces I should have, it is been 4 years I am having issues with the trauma I went through.
If you are wondering what I am talking about I will post a few links below, feel free to know more about myself.
Depression is a change in various aspects of your brain functionality from faliure of neurotransmitters, to a section of a brain or hormonal malfunctioning leading to suffer and often putting them into the isolation of its own, personally I have felt drooling into my sadness leading to focus, it is very difficult for me to explain why I think so but that is what I can justify myself with for now.
As a freelancer, I have always wondered if having sadness has kept me creative and if I try to fix my issues as much as possible will lead me to lose some, let me be honest, NO! you are not going to lose the touch in-fact happiness leads to many good things you have not discovered in yourself, self-discovery is the way to be more creative and if you ask why? Every person is different and every opinion matters and with every thought process, there is the discovery of various aspects of life from liberalism, communism to radical thoughts. Human aka homo sapien is a complex case of many things. We are aware I mean very much aware of things around us and that leads us to rule the planet we do.
Now coming back to depression and creativity is a topic I don't talk about with my therapist yet. Oh! I forgot I am taking therapy and If I have to lose a bit of creativity to lead a little less than normal life then be it. Therapy and medication have helped me to get a grasp on my episodes, I have sought of discovered a bit about myself and It has helped me to make things more varied and giving it a touch of freshness with every work on my way. I am now on the verge of realizing what I do and why I do and how I can turn it in something productive and as I have no intention to change myself as a person.
So depression leads to creativity is something is very subjective, though there is no scientific connection, personally I feel, creativity is an amalgamation of your conscious and subconscious mind and personality of yourself. You need to stick to something to know if it is worth it but and it doesn't let you sleep like literally then for sure it is your call.
To note: I am no health expert and the above is from my personal journey in life so far and I highly encourage you to connect to a therapist or you can ask me for mine and I will be happy to help. Therapy and medication don't take away who you are in reality but as like any illness, you should take care of yourself to help others and share what you to offer.
Hey Hi, myself Shovona, a freelance commercial food, product, and people photographer based out of Mumbai India.
Feel free to connect for any queries: shovonakar@gmail.com
Thanks for reading...
